Chapter 11: Priestess of Light

I did not know it yet, but we were coming close to the end of our journey. After hundreds of years of traveling throughout the stars, humanity had finally come to the edge of the known universe. We crossed the great threshold and left our galaxy behind forever. All my life, I had always been taught that as thinking, rational beings, it is our sacred duty for the duration of our time in this realm to seek the absolute truth in all matters of life. But what I was about to find out is that some truths are more difficult to accept than others.

Ryan found Hannah Lioness haughtily packing her things into a floating vacuum suitcase. She looked angry. Not the regular kind of angry, but the scary kind, and there was a difference as far as Hannah Lioness was concerned. Before Ryan had the chance to speak to her, she brought out a damp washcloth and dabbed his bloodied face rather forcefully.

“You’re a bloody mess, kid,” said Hannah fiercely.

The mysterious woman continued washing Ryan’s face, and not too gently at that. Then she called a service droid to bring her some medicinal liquid. She studied his face for a moment, and then without warning, applied the liquid to his cuts.

For Ryan, it felt like being on fire again, only this time it hurt. “OWIE! What is that stuff? Liquid evil!” Even though he didn’t say it, Ryan felt very grateful that Hannah showed concern for him, kind of like a real mother.

Hannah said nothing until she finished cleaning the cuts, and then she grabbed some bandages. “You’re lucky, kid. From the beating that Shaver was giving you, it could’ve been worse … a lot worse. I don’t think we’ll need stitches, but we’ll have to keep these bandages on for a little while. Fortunately, you have a face as tough as an iron rhino, and a brain just as dull too.”

Ryan scowled at her jibe, but it made him happy too. Maybe the fact that she felt comfortable enough around him to insult him meant that he might get answers out of her. “Yeah, well … thanks … I think.”

He then swallowed hard, looking down at his feet as he remembered something almost too shameful to recall. “I’m sorry I left you when I did. You know … when you were coughing up blood again. I can’t tell you how ashamed I am at myself for …” He cut off as his voice broke, and he realized that he might break down and cry.

Hannah gently cupped his chin to face and gave him a kindly smile. “You have nothing to be sorry about. This condition is my burden to deal with, not yours. It hasn’t killed me yet, so I suppose the Caretaker still has some use for these old bones.”

She chuckled slightly to herself, no longer looking at him. “I’m just glad I looked out my window when I did before something really bad happened to you. People have always told me I’m paranoid for keeping a jetpack handy, but I’ve never been comfortable staying in a place this high up without a backup plan. It seems everything these days has to be built so blasted high.”

Ryan smiled inwardly. After what I went through with Éclair on that cliff, I don’t blame you.

Hannah then frowned as if remembering something upsetting. “Which reminds me of what I needed to tell you. That was a very reckless thing you did, young man. You almost got yourself killed, or worse,” she said in a lecturing voice.

Ryan opened his mouth to retort, but the soft tone of her voice gave him pause.

“However, if you hadn’t done it, I would surely be dead right now. Seeing a young buck like you fight tooth and nail just to save an old crow like me … well, it made me feel like even my life was still worth something. Thank you.” Hannah paused as if considering something else that she neglected to mention. “However, I don’t want you doing it again. You’ve got better things to do with your life than to waste it on an old sinner like me. Keep that in mind the next time you have suicidal impulses!”

Her voice sounded so biting that Ryan flinched slightly at the rebuff. It perplexed Ryan how Hannah talked the way she did sometimes, like she was old enough to be his grandmother when she couldn't be much older than thirty.

Quickly stifling his curiosity about her age, Ryan decided to press her about more important matters. “Do you know anything about the people who are after me? The ones who planted that blue gas in Shaver’s vault, the ones who sent those assassins to capture me. No more stalling, I want the truth, Auntie Hannah.” 

Although Ryan hadn’t said it, he suspected that the people behind this plot were connected to what happened to his family five years ago.

Maybe now, I’ll finally get some answers, and find out the name of that person … no … that monster who destroyed my home and my family.

Hannah sighed almost painfully, but before she could speak, another spell of coughing overtook her, and she collapsed. Ryan tried to help her, but she swatted his hand away, insisting that she rise on her own strength. As Ryan met her eyes, he perceived deep resolution, as if she'd just come to a difficult decision.

“Alright, Ryan. I’ll tell you what you want to know … or at least I’ll tell you what I know. As for those men who supplied Shaver with the strangling gas and the bounty hunters, I believe that the parties responsible are certain individuals within the Tarrus Government that see the Elementals as a threat; particularly, Elementals like you.”

Ryan was stunned. The very Empire that he'd been raised in his entire life plotted to kill him. Why?! But Ryan knew why. Even though Hannah hadn't said specifically what she meant by ‘Elementals like you,’ Ryan knew that she referred to his alien heritage. Half-breeds had always been hated above all others … and feared above all others for their sometimes unpredictable nature.

Before he started leaping to conclusions, Ryan wanted a little clarification. “But I thought that the Elementals ruled the Empire?”

Hannah scowled at Ryan as if he just said something stupid. “Leave it to Richard to raise his kid in the country and not even teach him anything relevant. Of course the Ministries don’t rule the Empire. Now just think for a moment. Why were the Ministries founded in the first place?”

Great! I hate it when grown-ups ask me questions when I’m the one trying to learn stuff!

Ryan thought about it for a few minutes, and then presented the best answer he knew. “To … maintain peace with the powerful alien races in the universe and to protect the people of the Empire.”

Hannah smiled like a teacher instructing a dimwit. “Exactly. To protect and serve the interests of the Empire and maintain the balance of power. But nowhere in there is it mentioned that they must also command and rule. It was decided many years ago that in order to maintain the balance of power between the Elementals and the Pure-Skins, the power of government would be given to normal humans, while the Elementals mainly served as emissaries between Tarrus and their nonhuman neighbors.”

Ryan frowned in confusion. “What does emissary mean?”

Hannah scowled at Ryan once again.

“Hey, it’s confusing! I’m only like fifteen!” exclaimed Ryan defensively.

Hannah harrumphed dejectedly like she'd lost him. “It means go-between, but that is getting off-topic. The point is that thousands of years ago, people believed that giving the right of governing to the Elementals, combined with their already formidable abilities, would leave the Pure-Skins completely at the mercy of Psionic Users who were just as fallible.

“I admit, the system they have in place today is far from perfect, and completely corrupted in some areas, but it’s still probably better than all humans being ruled by a small segment of Elementals who make up a little more than 1% of the total human population. It would've been no different than a dictatorship, and we all know what happens to those.”

Ryan yawned a bit, getting slightly bored by the lecture, but some parts he found interesting. It reminded him a little of the stories that his father used to tell him. Despite the tediousness of thinking, Ryan started to piece things together in his mind. “So, what you’re saying is this didn’t just happen randomly. There's been bad blood between the Ministries and the ruling Tarrus Government since the beginning.”

“Yes, and even worse than that, there is even mistrust between the other Elemental Ministries as well. For all we know, those assassins could have been sent by one of the other eleven Ministries to capture you and then recruit you for their own agenda.”

Just when Ryan thought he had it all figured out, the blasted female said something else that made his brain tingle with the pain of thought. “What?! That’s messed up! Err … I mean, how can that be? I mean, aren’t all the Elementals on the same side?”

Hannah had a pained expression on her face, as if haunted by a distant memory. “If only that were all there was to it, kid, then we wouldn’t need to worry about watching our own backs from each other. If only all the Elementals could get along, and then maybe even the government might start to treat the Elementals as equals instead of just worthless pawns to be sacrificed whenever convenient.

“But I’m afraid that things are rarely that blessedly simple. Humans are very petty at times, more so than other races. Thousands of years ago, the Ministries were one, but then different factions vying for power began to squabble amongst themselves, and the Ministries were split into twelve different entities, each one taking the name of one of the twelve basic elements. Ever since, the Ministries have seen each other as political rivals more than comrades, and the tensions have even led to a few civil wars between them.”

Ryan’s jaw visibly dropped in shock. He immediately regretted his reaction since his jaw still felt very sore “You’re telling me that the Elementals actually fight against each other?”

Hannah nodded sadly. “Yes, as preposterous as it may seem. Life is rarely as glamorous as stories and fables. When the Ministries fought, sometimes the government intervened, sometimes they didn’t because they saw the conflict as an opportunity to let the Ministries weaken themselves in order to make them more manageable. That is part of the reason today that we have four Grand Ministries and eight lesser Ministries; an after-effect of the skirmishes that the Elementals were too immature to avoid.

“Factions within factions … division and mistrust; almost everyone motivated by self-interest alone and the need to increase their own power. This is the world of Elemency, Ryan. A world in which you are suspected and shunned by normal humans and other Elementals from different Ministries. A world of deceit and manipulations. Are you sure that this is the world you desire to be a part of Ryan Uruks?”

Ryan wanted to argue, but he couldn't think of anything that would help his case. The sad reality was that even though Ryan had dreamed of joining the Ministry ever since early childhood, he knew next to nothing about life as an Elemental, or the histories involved in Elemency. But Hannah did, and Ryan sensed that part of her reasons for leaving the Ministry of Fire pertained to the hypocrisies that she had just described. The Elementals were supposed to stand for peace and equality for all races, and yet here they were fighting amongst themselves. It was almost too much for Ryan to bear.

As Ryan felt his own resolve weakening, he thought of Éclair. He remembered how she'd been confronted for her dream of living the life of an Elemental as well. And yet she did not falter. She bucked up and made her dreams a reality. Even if she couldn’t remember him yet, Ryan knew that Éclair still possessed the essence of what drew him to her all those years ago.

Éclair Hamashe, a girl who lives her dreams no matter what people think; a girl who gives selflessly of herself when needed. Ryan remembered how Éclair risked her skin to save his life five years ago, and again today when she confronted that mercenary who tried to do him in. Just thinking of Éclair’s unyielding resolve reminded Ryan of the time he’d spent with his father and mother.

Hannah waited impatiently for Ryan’s response with her fists on her hips. 

In that moment, Ryan remembered the last time he spoke to his father before the attack. “My father once told me that there would be times in my life when I might doubt myself, and I might prefer to follow the path that others think appropriate for me.” Ryan waited, but Hannah kept silent. As her silence prolonged, Ryan continued. “He said that even though it is smart to listen to other people’s advice, the only person who can decide the destiny that my life will follow ultimately is me.”

Hannah continued to stare at Ryan, but her eyes started becoming a little wet, as if she remembered something painful.

“My father taught me that there will come a time in my life when I must stand on my own two feet, and decide for myself the fate that I desire,” explained Ryan humbly, but resolutely. “Not what my friends would want for me, not what my mother would want for me, not even what he would want for me; but what I want for myself. I, Ryan Uruks, am the only one who can decide who I want to be, and what my goals for the future are. If this is a mistake, then so be it, because it’s my mistake to make.”

Ryan felt fatigued, so he sat down on the couch in front of Hannah. He sat the medallion Éclair gave him on the counter next to the chair. He decided to speak more gently from here on out, hoping that they could reach some kind of reconciliation.

“I appreciate everything you've done for me. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, I would've died a long time ago and I never would've lived long enough to see this day come … the day that I am given that choice. You've become the closest thing to family that I have left. If you’d be okay with it, I’d like to call you Auntie Hannah. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is what I want to do with my life … for more than one reason.”

Ryan had to pause for a few seconds as he desperately searched for the right words to explain himself in that moment. “I just discovered things about myself that I never imagined were possible. I am an Elemental! I have psio-whatever-stuff running through my veins. I just found out that I can shoot magic fire out of my foot for crying out loud. Even if everything you say about the Ministries is true, it doesn’t mean that it's true for all Elementals, and it definitely wasn’t true for my parents … or for you when you lived with the Ministry.”

Hannah held a hand to her mouth as she gasped visibly. She looked like she'd been slapped across the face. Maybe it was the fact that he knew part of her past, or maybe it'd been the way he said it. For the first time, Hannah seemed deeply distressed by something that Ryan had said to her.

Ryan immediately tried to heal whatever wound he'd just inflicted. “Look, Auntie Hannah. This is what I want to do with my life, and no matter how much you may not like to hear this, you can’t just keep protecting me forever. I have my own life to live, my own decisions to make, and yes, even my own mistakes to endure if I have to.

“Eramar was trying to tell me something like that, and I think I understand him now. He gave it to me straight. Didn’t try to sugarcoat what life is like for a true Elemental. It’s a hard life; probably hard as hell. I understand that. But I’ve been living my own version of hell for five years now. At least this way, I can be doing something with my life that’s worthwhile instead of just depending on the kindness of others to survive.”

Ryan felt tears threatening to sting his eyes as his emotions rose. “You have been kind to me, Auntie Hannah … more so than I deserved. Anyone else would’ve just left me to rot, and I wouldn’t blame them. But now it’s time for me to grow up, take charge and be the man that I'm always bragging about. This is my decision, and even if you don’t fully approve of it, I hope that you can still respect me for it, and we can keep in touch … because that's what families do.”

Ryan hoped for a heartfelt hug, a few words of encouragement, maybe even a slight nod of acknowledgement; anything to let him know that she still cared about him. Ryan was unsure why, but at that moment, he wanted Hannah's blessing more than anything else in the universe. For her to tell him that she believed in him and that she'd still be there for him, just like she'd been with him these past five years. In some ways, getting Hannah’s approval felt like getting his parents’ approval to live his dreams.

Instead, Hannah looked angrier than he’d ever seen her, like he just spit in her eye. Her nostrils flared and her arms shook. With the coldest voice he ever heard her speak in, she said, “If you want to be an Elemental so badly, then go! You don’t need my approval! Just go and live your foolish dreams, no matter where they may take you.”

Ryan's heart collapsed in his chest. He had just spilled his guts out for this lady, and in return she spat on all his hopes and dreams. He felt hot tears running down his face as he barely managed to whisper, “But-”

Hannah raised her hand and looked away. “I was given a job to protect you and get you away from the Ministry. I didn’t have to accept it, but I suppose I figured I owed your father a favor, so I did. I did everything I could think of, but I failed. You have your heart set on going to the Ministry and there is nothing I can do to change your mind. Nothing I can say to convince you of the tremendous error you are committing, or of the consequences of that error. But it’s like you said, we must be free to make our own mistakes in life, no matter how foolhardy.”

Ryan didn’t want to believe his ears. “Are you saying that you never cared about me to begin with? That it was all an act just to keep me from joining the Elementals? No, I can’t believe that! Auntie Hannah, you’ve been the only family I’ve had since my parents died!”

But the more Ryan thought about it, the more it made sense. Of course she never really cared about me! Why should she? Why would anybody care? But then why would she push herself so far to protect me if she never even liked me?

As if to put his doubts about her intentions to rest, Hannah pressed the attack. “This just means that you don’t have to feel guilty about going off to join the Ministry. It just makes my job a little inconvenient, that’s all. I can’t help it if your feelings got hurt in the process. I had a job to do and I failed, it’s as simple as that. So go on, tell them your answer and leave me in peace … please.”

Ryan’s sorrow slowly turned to fury. She’s right! There’s nothing holding me back now, nothing left for me in the measly little sector of Fernady City.

Ryan went to his room, packed whatever he thought he needed as quickly as he could. He then called out to Tyrant, who came to perch on his shoulder, gently retracting his claws so as not to dig too deeply into the flesh.

As Ryan exited through the automatic doors, he turned back to Hannah one last time. With all the hurt and betrayal in his heart, he said, “You can burn in hell for all I care, Witch!”

Ryan didn't even wait to hear if she would scold him for swearing, he simply made his way over the plush carpet as fast as his feet would carry him and pushed the button for the elevator. Ryan waited for the elevator to appear with mounting frustration. Even with the vast technology at their command, people still had to wait for the elevator. Ryan tapped his feet impatiently.

Why is it taking so long?! I just want to leave and forget I was ever here!

As the doors finally opened, Ryan took a step inside, but then he remembered something especially important. The medallion that Éclair gave him! With a growing sense of apprehension, Ryan realized that he'd set it down on the counter in Hannah’s living room while they talked. As much as hated to go back there, Ryan knew from what Éclair had told him that he absolutely needed that medallion for more than one reason. With a sick feeling in his stomach, Ryan made his way back towards Hannah’s room. He decided that he wouldn't even say a word to her; he'd just grab the medallion and leave.

But what if she picked it up and won’t give it back? I swear if she does that, I’m gonna …

            As he leaned towards Hannah’s door, he could clearly hear someone sobbing uncontrollably inside. Ryan stopped in surprise, uncertain of how to proceed.

I’m probably just imagining what my subconscious wants me to hear.

But despite Ryan’s reasoning, the noise still persisted. Ryan didn't know which of his senses he should believe, his ears or his brain. Deciding that he would believe what his eyes told him, Ryan steeled himself and walked in. Luckily, he had locked himself out of her apartment accidentally before, so Hannah had taught him her combination. He peeked around the corner and saw her curled in a ball on the floor crying her eyes out like a little girl. To her breast, she clutched the pretty painting of the young man that Ryan saw earlier. Seeming to sense his presence, Hannah stopped and looked up at Ryan with tears still on her cheeks. Ryan didn't know what he should do.

Looking extremely uncomfortable now, Hannah attempted to wipe the tears away to no avail. “Ryan! What are you still doing here?”         

Ryan meekly motioned over at the counter and to the medallion with the moving figures on it.

Still trying in vain to stop her tears, Hannah attempted to compose herself. “These aren’t for you, you know. So, don’t get the wrong idea! It’s not like I'd ever shed tears just because you’re leaving. It’s not like I would shed a single tear just because I’m alone again.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anybody. “It was just a mission, that’s all! There’s no need to get emotional! It was just a stupid-”

Hannah seemed to lose her resolve and cried tears of pure misery as she buried her head into the painting. Ryan felt like he could taste the depths of her despair in the air itself. Despite everything she'd said to him, willingly admitting that she lied and manipulated him, Ryan couldn’t help but pity her.

What could she have gone through to bring her to this?

Even though every fiber in his body told him he'd be crossing a line, Ryan knelt by the older woman and held her gently. She seemed like she wanted to resist at first, but little by little, she abandoned herself to her emotions completely as she let herself sob like a baby in Ryan’s arms. Ryan felt a little awkward, but he tried not to let it show for her sake. It took a few minutes, but little by little, Hannah started to calm down, until she gently pushed herself away from Ryan and smiled appreciatively.

“Go on, Ryan. Ask me what you were going to ask before I sent you away.”

Her change in mood surprised Ryan, but he thought it best to comply with her wishes at this point. “What did you mean when you said that you were the one responsible for my parents’ death?”

Ryan wondered if Hannah might start crying again, but instead she turned to the painting in her hands as if searching for support. She then took a deep breath like a soldier going into battle.

She takes on more than two dozen armed men with her bare hands, and yet she’s afraid to tell me the truth!

As Hannah stifled the last of her tears, she began speaking softly, “To answer that question, it will be best for me to go back to the beginning. A very, very long time ago … much longer than you might imagine … I was a young Elemental studying Fire Elemency within the Ministry. I met a young man one day, a man unlike any I had known before.

“He was taller than the average height, with muscles so perfect they looked like they should’ve been carved from stone. He had messy brown hair, and a sheepish grin that never ceased to make me swoon. The other students avoided him. As handsome as he was, he was also very intimidating, especially for humans,” said Hannah longingly. 

From her description, Hannah described a half-breed like himself, but Ryan got the sneaking suspicion that there was more to it than that. Still sitting on the floor, Ryan leaned forward to hear better.

“He had golden skin that shined like the sun, but more than anything, I’ll never forget his eyes. Most people found his eyes disturbing because of their unnatural color, but I always found them fascinating. They were fierce and strong, but also kind and gentle at the same time. More than anything else, those eyes reflected the man’s deep passion for life. They were the deep red eyes that you inherited from your father.”

Hannah then reached inside her pocket and pulled out a small hologram disk that depicted a young version of his father

Ryan’s breathing stopped. He was shocked at first, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He remembered her saying, ‘I would have done anything to save him!’ As this realization dawned on him, Ryan saw Hannah in a new light. “You were in love with my father.”

Hannah smiled sadly as a tear traced down her cheek. “Yes, I was. And like a fool, I let that love slip through my fingers, and all for the sake of pride and fear.”

Ryan gawked at Hannah, now very curious about where this story was going. Ryan had matured enough to know that his parents probably had other relationships before they met each other. Ryan didn't care, it changed nothing. He knew his parents loved each other more deeply than they could ever love anyone else. That being said, he still found it quite disconcerting to meet one of his dad’s old girlfriends, but Ryan refused to say as much so that Hannah would finish her story.

“What I had with your father was just not meant to be. I know that now. I am at peace with that. Your father could never have loved me the way he loved Brianna. I think we both realized that. However, I was the one who made the mistake of leaving him first.”

Ryan wondered how anybody could leave his dad, so without thinking he found himself saying, “Why?”

Hannah’s face lowered down in shame. “It wasn’t for the cliché reasons like most people thought … like scandal, affairs, or racial differences. In fact, I left him many years before he met Brianna, and as far as he was concerned, we were a happy couple. But I wasn’t happy. I now realize that it wasn’t him I was unhappy with; it was life in general.

“You see, after so many years of serving the Ministry of Fire and taking orders and abuses from the Tarrus Government, I wanted nothing more to do with the Empire or the Ministries. I was fed up with all the corruption … all the petty deceptions, all the lies. Even more than that, I was fed up with my inability to do anything about it. After all these ages we’ve had to mature and evolve, we're still facing the same old problems we’ve always had.

“Poverty still runs rampant throughout the Empire. Prejudice on all sides is still as vibrant as always. Constantly having to watch our backs for betrayal or attack from the other Ministries. The government becoming ever more power-hungry and paranoid with Elementals at the same time. And worst of all was the wars; conflict after conflict … fighting in senseless battles for a cause that didn’t seem to matter anymore.”

Hannah shuddered as if recalling all the gruesome details of every battle she'd fought in. “For me, life had lost its wonder, and more than anything I just wanted a way out … a way to escape from it all. There is this-” Hannah paused, weighing her words carefully.

“What?”

“A religious order in the Empire that exists beyond the jurisdiction of the Ministries and even the Imperial Court. It is known as the Monastery of the Monks who serve the Light. I was offered a position within that order. I wanted to join, but I also wanted to take Richard with me. Of course, the man wouldn't have it.

“It wasn’t that Richard couldn’t see the corruption and pain surrounding us; in fact, it probably affected him more than me. But Richard had a very different idea for dealing with the problem than I did. He said that if we wanted things to change, that we should change them ourselves. He thought it was our duty to change the Empire from the inside out so that our children need not suffer the torments that we did.”

Hannah smiled ironically after saying that. “Richard begged me to stay with him, but I refused to listen. I was bitter and I let my emotions get the better of me. I convinced myself that he didn't love me. Richard just saw things in a better perspective where I had blinded myself because I no longer wished to see the truth.

“I only saw things the way I wanted to see them. The truth was that I loved being an Elemental, and I loved being with your father, but I was no longer willing to fight for the things that I loved. I had given up.”

Ryan felt a twinge of sympathy for Hannah and wondered what future awaited him in his path to Elemency. Will I have the resolve to pursue my dreams even when times get tough? Will I give up too?

Hannah Lioness continued her tale. “Your father was stronger than I. The last thing I said to him was that he was a fool to ever think that he could change things.” Hannah stopped for a moment and swallowed back more tears before continuing. “You have no idea how much I regret saying those words to him, especially considering that after everything we'd been through together, those words would be the last thing he'd ever hear me say to him.

“And so, I joined the Monastery. I renounced my Elemental powers and set about my new life. I still cared for Richard, so I kept tabs on him to make sure that nothing bad happened. And then I heard that Richard remarried, and after seeing a hologram of the two of them together, I knew that she truly loved him, and what was worse was that he loved her back.

“In a bitter revelation, I realized how much I missed being with him, but it no longer mattered … he'd moved on with his life and so had I. In bitterness, and I’ll admit a tinge of jealousy, I stopped looking after your father. The next thing I know, Eramar sends word that both he and Brianna were dead, and I had no one to blame but myself.”

Hannah started crying again, and just hearing her story made Ryan want to cry along with her. In between sobs, she managed to say, “If I hadn’t … been so stubborn … and prideful, I could’ve kept watch over them. I could’ve found out about the attack … I could've warned them! And now because of me, they're both gone … and I have condemned you to the life of an orphan. Yet another innocent that I've destroyed in my blundering! I’M SORRY, RYAN! I’M SO SORRY! I’M SO SORRY!” Hannah put her head in her hands and cried powerfully. She repeated her apology over and over again.

As Ryan watched her, he realized that he couldn't feel a shred of anger towards her like she obviously expected him to. Instead, he felt something else.

As gently as he could, Ryan placed his hand on her shoulder and said, “Please, Auntie Hannah, listen to me very carefully. I don’t blame you for what happened to them, so please, stop blaming yourself.” Ryan spoke slowly and deliberately. He spoke softly, but in a firm voice so that she could not misinterpret his intent.

When he finished, Hannah stopped crying and looked up at him in astonishment. “Can you truly mean that, child?”

Ryan nodded reassuringly as he said with his voice breaking, “Yes.”

Hannah looked like a mountain had just been lifted from her shoulders as she smiled without a shred of sadness or irony. Tears of joy slowly replaced tears of shame. Hannah laughed madly like a prisoner that had been set free after years of captivity. She may have become a little too happy because she started laughing so hard that she passed out and collapsed right on top of Ryan.

OH MY GOD! I KILLED HER!

But then Ryan felt her even breathing, and he realized she'd just fallen asleep. However, she'd fallen asleep in a very inconvenient position which left Ryan trapped by her body weight. . Though not a large woman, she suddenly seemed gargantuan to Ryan’s weakened muscles. With an amount of strain and heavy breathing, Ryan managed to drag Hannah into her room. He weakly dragged her to the bed, regrettably bumping her head a few times.

If she wakes up with a bump, I’ll just tell her that the furniture appeared out of nowhere and attacked us! Besides, I just saw a guy walk out of solid rock, so it could happen. Ryan sometimes liked to justify himself in his own mind. It was kind of like having a game of chess in his head.  

As she lay in the bed, Ryan felt her head and was relieved to see that his blunders had caused no damage, but she might wake up with a bit of a headache. If so, he could blame it on her mysterious sickness. As Ryan pulled the covers over her, he realized that he probably should be more concerned. But the peaceful smile left on Hannah’s face calmed him a little. Feeling as if the danger to her had passed, he decided to let her rest.

Ryan did everything he could think of to care for Hannah while she slept. He fluffed her pillows and played the old classical opera music from Ancient Earth that he knew she liked to listen to. Although Ryan never cared for that kind of music much himself, the old songs must've been called classics for a reason.

Ryan barked orders at service droids right and left to help tend to her needs and keep him updated on her condition. The service droids hummed enthusiastically, like nothing in the universe could please them more than serving their biological masters. Though he'd gotten used to their presence over the past few weeks, he still felt uncomfortable ordering them around.

As the little robots buzzed around him, Ryan watched Hannah carefully. Despite the heartfelt conversation they'd had earlier, Ryan still felt sad. Whatever mission she'd been given, she accepted it because she felt guilty about what happened to Ryan’s parents, not out of any maternal affections.

Even though Ryan appreciated the fact that she had confided so much to him … especially the part about a secret relationship with my father, thought Ryan trying to hold back the puke … Ryan knew that his secret desire - that she could be like a family to him - was only wishful thinking. Now that he had told her that he bore her no ill will, she no longer needed to obligate herself with caring for him. More than that, he felt that she withheld important elements of her story.

            Suddenly, as if coming out of a trance, Hannah sat up. “What happened? Did I fall asleep?”

Ryan explained to Hannah her fall. She thanked him.

            “What’s wrong with you, Auntie Hannah?”

            Hannah waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s a long story. But I assure you, that there's nothing to worry about. My body's just a little weak, that’s all, but I’m not dying or anything.”

Though it disappointed Ryan that she still kept secrets from him, he felt relieved to hear that her condition wasn’t life-threatening. At least, he hoped that she told the truth about that part.

Sensing that he could make no more leeway on the subject of her health, Ryan decided to ask her something else. “I’m sorry to keep grilling you like this, but I have to know, do you know exactly who sent those assassins? Could they be linked to … to what happened five years ago?”

If I’m gonna be an Elemental, I need to learn everything I can about my enemies, especially if they’re linked to the Dark Creature in the cloak.

            Hannah’s blue eyes never left Ryan’s as she said, “I can honestly tell you that I don’t know, Ryan … at least not for sure. I know from sources back in the Monastery that the mercenaries were sent from someone in the government. But that's all I'm sure of. Everything else is mere speculation. And I’m afraid that even that information is very broad.

“You see, I am certain that the Imperial Court would never openly authorize the assassination or capture of future Elementals, but there are many senators and governors who have the power to arrange something like that under the tables, and not all of them are easy to pinpoint. There are many factions in the government, and most of them with their own agendas in mind, so even the knowledge that the orders originated from somewhere in the Tarrus government doesn’t help us very much. But as for your other question, I must say that there is no way to know for sure. I suppose it's possible, but in all honesty, my guess would be no.”

            That wasn't good enough for Ryan. Straining to keep the anger out of his voice, he said, “Why not?”

            Hannah seemed unperturbed by Ryan’s rude temperament, or perhaps she chose not to notice as she continued. “The only thing we have confirmed about the Massacre of Toramirese is that it was staged by a rogue tribe of Black Dragons, possibly influenced by outside forces for reasons that are not completely known.”

Ryan wanted to say the reason was to kill him and his family, but when he thought about it, he knew that he couldn't be certain. It might’ve just been coincidence that his family had been there.

“However,” continued Hannah. “Even if the Black Dragons were influenced by factions external to their own, I seriously doubt they could have been swayed by anyone in the Tarrus Empire, no matter what they were paid. You see, the Black Dragons are completely opposite from their Space Dragon cousins. They are not reasonable or logical. They are not motivated by things that make sense to many beings like wealth or plunder.

“They are a primitive and violent race driven by one need alone, the instinct to hunt, kill, and eat. There is no greater satisfaction for them. They travel the galaxy in packs looking for easy prey where they can find them. They have been known to make alliances in the past with other hostile races like the Morlocks or the Goblins, but not for thousands of years. And the only race that they hate more than their cousins is us humans.

“Anyway, my point is that the Black Dragons are an extremely paranoid and prideful species that would let themselves be slaughtered before they traded with anybody from Tarrus, Pure-Skin or Elemental. So I don’t see how the government could be involved in this particular incident. But like I've said many times, there is no way to be sure, at least not right now. But don’t despair … I have a feeling that the answers will come in time so long as we keep looking for them.”

Ryan grimaced inwardly as the mystery of his parents' murder continued to yield no answers for him. Even though part of him wanted to doubt her, Ryan felt in his heart that Hannah had told him the truth … at least part of it. If she still kept things from him, he had no way to know, partially because he wasn’t very adept at reading people.

“Thank you for everything, Auntie Hannah. And I’m sorry for cursing earlier and telling you ... you know … ‘go to hell.’ The truth is that if anyone here deserves to go to heaven, it would be you.”

Hannah exhaled softly, closing her eyes and putting a hand to her chest. Then she smiled deeply and said, “There’s no need to apologize. After the things that I said to you, your anger was justified.”

Ryan paused, finding it hard to say goodbye, especially considering everything they'd gone through together. But Ryan knew that he needed to get on with his life in the Ministry. Even if getting Hannah’s blessing might’ve been nice, Ryan knew it was unlikely that Hannah would give it, so he decided it best to get it over with and just say goodbye.

Ryan stuck out his hand in a very business-like manner, and Hannah eyed it curiously. “I need to get going now, so I guess this is goodbye.”

Ryan really didn't want to let his emotions loose again, to become emotionally involved by saying farewell to this woman. We’re just acquaintances … acquaintances that may have hugged and shared a moment, but nothing more. Hannah did what she did because of obligation and shame, so there’s really nothing more to our relationship than that.

            Hannah stared at Ryan’s hand for a moment, then she pushed it away as she stepped closer to embrace him warmly. Ryan didn't know how to react. He wanted to push her away, but her hug felt almost exactly the way his mother used to hold him.

Hannah cradled the back of his head before saying with a sad smile, “Ryan, I know what you’re thinking. That the only reason I helped you was because I felt obligated to do so. That it was out of duty and guilt for my past with your father.” She cried softly, but the smile never left her face. “I cannot deny that was part of the reason that we met, at least it was the original reason I first came to find you. But it would taste a lie if I told you that you don’t mean a great deal to me.”

Ryan felt his control slipping away as he heard the words he'd been longing to hear ever since he lost his mother.

“You see, when we first met, I tried to convince myself that it was strictly business, and I put a cage around my heart. But you infuriating and delightful boy … you have brought some warmth to this old woman’s heart, and for that I thank you. Truly you have inherited your father’s strength as well as his kindness. The truth is that I acted aloof because I feared getting attached. I was afraid of being a mother again. That's why I was angry and told you the things I did. I bottled up my emotions because, as you know, sometimes it's better to feel nothing at all rather than pain. I consider you the son that I never had … the son that was taken from me.”

Hannah put her chin over Ryan’s head. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you the whole story, but now is not the time for more sad tales. Now is a time of rejoicing. I know where my place is and it's back at the Monastery where I can be of use to both you and the people of Tarrus, but I now know in my heart that's not where your place is.

“You were right, Ryan. People should be free to live their own lives, to live their dreams. Even though I once hoped that I could raise you in the Monastery, I now know that it was not meant to be. You are far too wild and free-spirited for such a tranquil lifestyle. A man like you must be free to make his own choices in life, not bottled down by the expectations of frivolous old people like me.

“So, before you go, Ryan, let me tell you this. Run after your dreams with all your strength. Become an Elemental like the universe has never seen before. Learn to live, learn to laugh, and most importantly, learn to love, because too often we forget the things that are most important in our lives until they have vanished from our sight.”

Ryan could no longer hold himself back as he started crying. He tried really hard not to, but her speech moved him in ways he hadn't expected. It just made him get choked up, like an inspirational scene in a holomovie.

Hannah held him back to face him directly, and she spoke slowly as if the fate of the universe hinged on her words. “Can you promise to do this for me, Ryan Uruks? Can you promise me that you will pursue your dreams with all your strength, and with all your heart … even when times get hard … even during the times that you may doubt yourself? Can you promise me that when you fall, you will find the courage to pick yourself up … that no matter where your journeys may take you in life, you will never give up on living? Do you swear?”

As Ryan gazed into Hannah’s eyes, sniffing back snot and tears, he knew that she meant every word she said. Feeling the magnitude of his oath to her, and at the same time, the exhilaration of such a momentous occasion, Ryan slowly brought his hand to his head in a reverential salute. “I do so swear, Auntie Hannah!”

            Hannah slowly leaned down and gave Ryan a kiss on his forehead, “Then go in peace, Ryan Uruks, and always remember that no matter what path you find yourself on, you bear the blessing and the love of Hannah Lioness, Priestess of Light.”